Gone through two weeks of grief and pain, I finally have the mood to write something. I knew before I came to America that the past half year would completely change my life. But I never thought it would be in this way. Everything that I used to believe and treasure seems untrustworthy and fragile. I wish I could easily tell myself that people who love and care about you will eventually leave you because they think you’re strong enough to live by yourself. But I can’t. I believe in my father’s eyes I’m always a little girl who needs his love and protection and he will never want to leave me.
Everyone feels sorry for me. But actually I never feel sorry for myself. I just feel sorry for my dad. He was too young to leave. I’ve been thinking for the past few days. What was his dream? How did he plan his life in the future before his sudden death? What did he expect from his only child? I’ll never know. I can’t help imagining what the day was like when the accident happened. He didn’t get up until the noon because he stayed up too late to watch TV the other night. Then he decided to do laundry. After the clothes were dried, he thought maybe he should iron them, and he found out that there was no ironing table at home because he just moved in this new house not so long ago. He wanted to buy one right now since he was the kind of person that wants everything pops in his head to be done right away. So he went to the mall to get a table by bike. After leaving the mall, he didn’t go home because he wanted to visit his friend who leaves nearby. They chatted a little, and then he found it was time to go home. He bought a lottery on his way home as usual. But this time, he would never know whether he would win or not. Fifteen minutes after buying the lottery, he ran into the god damn car that would end everything. This crapped car driven by a drunk driver hit him and fled. And there came endless darkness and silence.
He was the kind of person that was good at hiding true feelings. He wasn’t thrilled like me when I finally got the chance to study abroad. But he googled everything about my school. He never told me he missed me. But he told mom that he’d like to receive a call from me. Mom used to say that I was dad’s lucky star. Then I guess he was so unlucky this time because his lucky star was so far away. I feel that I will be killed by those memories, since they are like knives cutting through my heart.
People tell me to forget and move on. But I don’t want to. I just want to stay right here, waiting for him to come back and never leave me.

The most important thing is life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

　　You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

　　Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

　　The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

　　If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

　　Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don"t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

　　You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

　　And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Happiness

Are you happy? Do you remember a time when you were happy? Are you seeking happiness today?
Many have sought a variety of sources for their feeling of happiness. Some have put their heart and efforts into their work. Too many turned to drugs and alcohol. Untold numbers have looked for it in the possession of expensive cars, exotic vacation homes, and other popular "toys". Most of their efforts have a root in one common fact: people are looking for a lasting source of happiness.
Unfortunately, I believe that happiness evades many because they misunderstand the process and journey of finding it.I have heard many people say that,"l' II be happy when I get my new promotion,'or "1' II be happy when I lose that extra 20 pounds." This thinking is dangerous because it presupposes that happiness is a "response” to having, being or doing something.
In life, we all experience stimulus and response. Stimulus is when a dog barks at you and bares his teeth. Response is when your heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty and you prepare to run. Today, some people think that an expensive car is stimulus. Happiness is a response. A great paying job is stimulus. Happiness is a response. A loving relationship is stimulus. Happiness is a response. This belief leaves us thinking and feeling:"l'll be happy when..."
It has been my finding that actually the opposite is true. I believe that happiness is a stimulus and response is what life brings to those who are truly happy. When we are happy, we tend to have more success in our work. When we are happy, people want to be around us and enjoy loving relationships. When we are happy, we more naturally take better care of our bodies and enjoy good health. Happiness is not a response rather, it is a stimulus.
Happiness is a conscious choice we make every day of our lives. For unknown reasons to me, many choose to be miserable, frustrated and angry most of the time. Happiness is not something that happens to us after we get something we want -- we usually get things we want after we choose to be happy.
I have made only one simple rule for my own happiness: Every day above ground is a good day. Therefore, I tend to have a lot of good (and happy) days in succession.

Lottery

In the last decades, the development of market oriented economy has brought a large number of newly emerging things into our daily life. Yet when it comes to one of these new things lottery, welfare lottery in particular, some people believe that it creates a good social atmosphere while others argue that the opposite is true. There is probably a little bit of truth in both statements. But in recent years, lottery has done a lot to support the view that it does more good than harm.
On one hand, welfare lottery encourages people to do small kindness for the welfare of others as well as for the profit of oneself. When we read the daily newspapers, we are frequently appraised of the "Big Kindness" performed by well-to-do philanthropists who donate large sums of money for the establishment of schools, libraries, free hospitals for the poor, orphanages, and the like. These, of course, are laudable acts of charity that deserve wide public acclaim. But in my estimation, not all the people have the financial ability to support these "Big Kindness", and those many minor acts of kindness performed daily in different situations by public minded citizens who receive no recognition or praise from the mass media are equally commendable. Similarly, welfare lottery provide the majority of people a chance to perform this kind of small kindness.
On the other hand, in a large city like Shanghai, where the general tendency of the people is "to look out only for one's own", the atmosphere is cold and miserable for those unable to keep up with the rapid pace of competitions. By launching a personal campaign such as welfare lottery, we can try to remedy the present situation and to make our society a much better place to live in.
However, every coin has two sides. Lottery, inevitably, has some side effects. As to the general criticism that it encourages some people's opportunistic attitudes and makes them unwilling to make a living by finding a job, I believe that the tax system in our society will keep the necessary balance between the poor and the rich, thus maintains the stability and unity of our country.
Recognition of a problem is the first step toward its solution. Since we are now generally aware of the advantages and disadvantages of lottery, it seems necessary that we improve this scheme to meet the public needs. If we are to succeed as a society in 21st century, a better society atmosphere should be created.

Abortion

Opinion: Abortion should be allowed.

• First of all, pregnancy can be unexpected which will lead to heavy burden for the family in the future. If the family has already had a lot of children and can't afford another one, abortion will be the choice if the mother are pregnant accidentially.
• Second, abortion can help some teenage mothers. Some teenage girls are too young to be a mother and they are not ready to take the responsibility. If they don't want the baby at all, it will be unfair that they give birth to the children for both of the mothers and babies. So abortion can be a better way out for teenage mums.
• What's more, in some countries like China, every couple is allowed to have only one child due to the huge population. If the wife get pregnant when the family has a child already, abortion seems like the only choice because it's illegal to have a second child.

Similarities and Differences: Outline

Thesis statement:
Dogs and cats are both popular animals. They share many similarities. But at the same time there are also differences between them.

Topic sentence:

First of all, they have a lot of similarities.

• For instance, they are relatively small animals.
• What's more, they always look adorable.
• And they are easy to feed.
• Most importanly, they are both good company for human beings.

These similarities make them perfect pets for people to keep.

Topic sentence:

However, they do have all kinds of differences.

• For example, they have quite different characteristics. Cats can be really cool and have some special habits, which makes them not so easy to get along with. On the contrary, dogs are more friendly and most of them have a kind nature.
• Moreover, cats are always sensitive so they become aggressive when feel threatened, even to their owners. But dogs seldom hurt owners if well trained.
• When it comes to habits, I have to say: cats are neat while dogs are messy and stinky.
• In addition, cats can't help people do too many things due to their physical limit. But many dogs, especially big dogs, can help their owner in daily life. They can be great assistant of the disabled.

Compare & Contrast

The are some similarities between these pictures. For example, the main objects of the pictures are both clocks. Besides, both are special clocks. However, there are also many differences. The most obvious one is that one picture is a photo while the other is a painting. In addition, the clock on the left is hung on a tree while the one on the right is placed on the edge of a table. Furthermore, it misses an eight on the right one. Also, the needles and numbers are actually not on the plane of the clock. And the surroundings of the clocks are quite different.

EXAMS...

In the past two weeks, I had been focusing on all kinds of exams which are extremely stressful for me. Surprisingly, I got A-in math and ece while I did poorly in Chinese history. So I wanna talk about exams. At the very end of the College Entrance Examinations of China, journalists always get a funny answer from graduated students: "Now, what I want to do most is to burn my textbooks and exam papers." It seems few students have other ideas than to count the total number of pages of all exam papers over a period of three years, or six years. It must be a extraordinary number---over two thousand or even more. Really, such a surprising quantity of exams harms not only students' health but also their social development.
First, overburdening exams destroy students' health. Every day, all they do is stay inside classrooms and study. Students have no time for regular exercise, which is an essential part of maintaining good health. Day after day they go without adequate sleep, which lowers their resistance to disease. In addition, worrying about endless exams, students lose their appetites and are incapable of relaxing themselves even during sleep. Suffering from lack of exercise, little sleep, bad appetites, and long-term tension, students look pale and sick when the Entrance Exam ends.
Besides bodies' destruction, lots of exams also make students socially narrow. Without good grades, a student may consider he is useless and doomed to failure henceforth. Probably, he would rather pursue high grades than deep friendship. He may take it for granted that improving his grades is more important than caring for his surroundings in his life as a human being, not a student. More ridiculously, a so-called "excellent student" can refer to one who is devoted to high grades, but indifferent to the benefit of his class. His young world seems to be built on exams and grades. Miserably, grades have deeply occupied his heart, brain, and dreams.
Of course, the proverb of "No pains, no gains." is doubtless true. However, entering a good school at the expense of healthful bodies and social awareness is too high a cost.

Popularity of Fast Food Restaurants

Thesis Statement:
Among reasons that lead to the popularity of fast food restaurants, four of them are the most significant: they are fast indeed; the locations are always good; the price is really low; the advertisements are attractive.
Topic Sentence 1:
First of all, it has to be mentioned that fast food is really fast.

• People don't have too much time to consider what they are gonna eat. Customarily, standing right next to the cashier, they are only given a few seconds to decide what to order and the choices are limited. People pay for the food immediately after they order. So fast food restaurants make customers fast.
• It usually takes less than 5 minutes to get your food, which is impossible in those first class restaurants.
• People like students and white-collar workers don't have too much time for lunch during workdays. They prefer fast food.

Topic Sentence2:
Secondly, the locations are always good so people can find a fast food restaurant easily.

• Most fast food restaurants are located near shopping malls, cinemas or other crowded areas.
• Some restaurants set their foot in theme parks.

Topic Sentence3:
Thirdly, fast food is really cheap.

• For less than 5 dollars, people get a generous portion of food.
• Fast food restaurants always give coupons to customers. With a discount, it only costs you less than 1 dollar sometimes.

Topic Sentence4:
Besides, the ads of those restaurants contribute a lot to their popularity.

• The ads look attractive since the food always look delicious.
• The ads are even more attractive for children when they claim that toys come with food.

Parents' Different Views on Education

I was really seriously absolutely shocked by the difference between American and Chinese parents' perspective upon their children’s education. Here are two most significant differences.
The first one I notice is parents’ views on college ,or say higher education. In America, lots of parents wanna know the tuition and board fee firstly when they choose a college for their kids, in addition, such as scholarship, loan and part-time jobs, which can be regarded as an unbelievable thing in the eyes of Chinese parents and teachers. Because of the highly selectiveness and abstruse questions in the final college entrance examination in China, entering college seems to be a glorious aim for all families, that does not only mean your high IQ, quality of diligence and potential to do well in college, but also mean children’s future such as their jobs, salaries and social status. Thus, parents in China would like to support their children financially to enter colleges, even, when they need to loan thousands of dollars from banks and friends and kinds, as soon as they receive the admittance from college without hesitation. Before I went to UIUC, I was a little worried because the tuition was higher than my expectation and I was admitted by other schools which could provide me scholarship. My parents also thought it expensive but they insisted that I should study in a top engineering school. Now, they always tell me that money is not a problem, and just pursue my dream freely. But I know the tuition is definitely a burden for the family.
Another thing is the distances that children would like to choose between school and home. All the American people I know here are from Illinois. Nevertheless, nowadays, many reports in China indicate that Chinese students have the disability of living alone to be compared with American students. Independence of children is highly recommended in China now. Every diligent student full of aspiration wants to enter a university out of their provinces, especially in Beijing, Shanghai and Hongkong. Some of them, like me, would prefer to study aboard where there is no previous acquaintances and relationship, what there are the difficulties of languages, misunderstanding, and the differences of social value system, which is unlikely to be solved entirely as we have followed disciplines in China for at least 10 years. The reason is to pursue independence, chances, and experiences which will be the worthy for whole life.
The differences never have a critical correct answer. There is no use to just imitate the formation from other countries. The only thing we can do is to pursue our own dream via a way that we want personally, that is placed in the most important part in your mind, because that is truly what your significance of life is.

Perhaps Ready

Every time I look back, I still can't believe that I have been in United States for 3 weeks. I remember that night in Pudong, Shanghai, the taxi driver had some trouble finding the hotel that I lived in. He drove around the highways, not knowing where to go. That was my last night in China before I went to USA. I was angry, not sad that I thought I supposed to be. The next day in the airport, I just said goodbye to my parents and turned around. Tears dropped from my eyes. I couldn't help it. I only knew I had to hide my tears from my mum and dad since I understood it would break their hearts to see me crying. And I also promised to myself: no more tears from then on. At least, I wouldn't cry in America. Because I guessed in a very long time, no one would be there for me when I cried like my parents do. I had to depend on my own so I had to be strong. Getting aboard on the plane, taking off at O'Hare, arriving at Champaign in a freezing late night. They all seemed to happen in yesterday. I still feel so unrealistic even now. I feel like in a dream.
Back in China in 2008, I went all out for the College Entrance Examinations. I had been prepared for those exams for 12 years. It seemed like from my first day in primary school, my goal was to get to a good university. Almost every child in China have a goal exactly like mine. So everything I did, I did for my future university. Finally I made it. I completed my goal. I guess I was lucky, maybe not as lucky as I expected. But I have nothing to complain. I was happy. I eventually had a vacation without worrying about homework and test scores. I shopped with my friends, staying up all night just to chat online. I went to learn French and went to travel. It felt like I had done the most important thing in my life, so I could rest forever. At last, when I began my life in university, I asked myself: why you come here. And I didn't know the answer. I guessed I was wrong from the start. I just wanted to get in the university. What I want from college? What I should do in college? I didn't know.
I made the decision to study abroad maybe because I thought a many years of studying that hard, I deserved a better school. Before I came here, I assumed what kind of problems that I might come across and how to deal with them. I thought I was ready. Because this time, I knew what I wanted. I wanna get the best education in one of the top engineering colleges. I wanna start a new life in a totally different country. I wanna pursue my career in California, one of my favorite places in the world. Maybe that is my kind of American dream.
However, life doesn't always go my way. I have all kinds of trouble here. My English is always my problem. When I try to talk to my roommate, I don't know how to start the topic by English. When I try to discuss a math question with my classmates, here it comes again, my poor English. But I don't worry about that. Because after all that happened, I believe there is always a way out. So just keep on trying and live my dream. I think I can make it this time.

Welcome to Brooke's Blog

Hi, guys. I'm Qian Xue and you can call me Brooke. I come from China to U of I, studying electrical engineering. I' d like to share my life in Champaign-Urbana with everyone. Really glad to be here.