Perhaps Ready

Every time I look back, I still can't believe that I have been in United States for 3 weeks. I remember that night in Pudong, Shanghai, the taxi driver had some trouble finding the hotel that I lived in. He drove around the highways, not knowing where to go. That was my last night in China before I went to USA. I was angry, not sad that I thought I supposed to be. The next day in the airport, I just said goodbye to my parents and turned around. Tears dropped from my eyes. I couldn't help it. I only knew I had to hide my tears from my mum and dad since I understood it would break their hearts to see me crying. And I also promised to myself: no more tears from then on. At least, I wouldn't cry in America. Because I guessed in a very long time, no one would be there for me when I cried like my parents do. I had to depend on my own so I had to be strong. Getting aboard on the plane, taking off at O'Hare, arriving at Champaign in a freezing late night. They all seemed to happen in yesterday. I still feel so unrealistic even now. I feel like in a dream.
Back in China in 2008, I went all out for the College Entrance Examinations. I had been prepared for those exams for 12 years. It seemed like from my first day in primary school, my goal was to get to a good university. Almost every child in China have a goal exactly like mine. So everything I did, I did for my future university. Finally I made it. I completed my goal. I guess I was lucky, maybe not as lucky as I expected. But I have nothing to complain. I was happy. I eventually had a vacation without worrying about homework and test scores. I shopped with my friends, staying up all night just to chat online. I went to learn French and went to travel. It felt like I had done the most important thing in my life, so I could rest forever. At last, when I began my life in university, I asked myself: why you come here. And I didn't know the answer. I guessed I was wrong from the start. I just wanted to get in the university. What I want from college? What I should do in college? I didn't know.
I made the decision to study abroad maybe because I thought a many years of studying that hard, I deserved a better school. Before I came here, I assumed what kind of problems that I might come across and how to deal with them. I thought I was ready. Because this time, I knew what I wanted. I wanna get the best education in one of the top engineering colleges. I wanna start a new life in a totally different country. I wanna pursue my career in California, one of my favorite places in the world. Maybe that is my kind of American dream.
However, life doesn't always go my way. I have all kinds of trouble here. My English is always my problem. When I try to talk to my roommate, I don't know how to start the topic by English. When I try to discuss a math question with my classmates, here it comes again, my poor English. But I don't worry about that. Because after all that happened, I believe there is always a way out. So just keep on trying and live my dream. I think I can make it this time.